36-0

 In 19th century football, mismatches were commonplace, especially in cup competitions, where scratch and amateur teams could find themselves pitted against first class opposition.
On 12th September 1885 Harp (of Dundee) hosted Aberdeen Rovers in a Scottish Cup tie. The official result is recorded as Harp 35 Aberdeen Rovers 0*. The referee recorded 37 goals, but Harp's secretary recorded only 35, and the lower total was agreed on.
Dundee Harp full back Tom O'Kane was an ex-Arbroath player, and persuaded the Dundee club's officials to send a telegram to his former colleagues at Gayfield Park boasting of his team's record breaking score.

The telegram was received with some amusement by the players and officials of Arbroath FC, because they had just completed their first round match against Bon Accord (actually Orion Cricket Club of Aberdeen, who had received an invitation to compete in the Cup in error**) and run out 36-0 winners.
Again, more goals were probably scored, and John 'Jock' Petrie set a personal record of 13 goals in the game which has never been bettered.
It goes without saying that the two goalkeepers had very different experiences, Milne not touching the ball and borrowing an umbrella from the crowd, whilst Lornie, a 22yr old  tinsmith and gas fitter,was setting a standard of unparalleled misery between the sticks at the opposite end.

12.9.1885                                              Arbroath 36 – 0 Bon Accord 
Gayfield Park, Arbroath.

Arbroath: Milne Snr, Collie, Salmond, Rennie, Milne Jr, Bruce, Petrie, Tackett, Marshall, Crawford, Neil.

Bon Accord:  Lornie, Donaghue, Connell, Keeley, Whelan, Lowrie, Sutty, Doherty, Behan, Conorson, MacManus




*undaunted Aberdeen Rovers entered the cup again in 1887 when, after a first round bye the were beaten 10-0 by Dundee  Wanderers.
**Two years later, on 3rd September 1887, Arbroath played against the 'real' Orion F.C. in the Scottish Cup and won 20–0.